Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I'm old .........

I just had my 34 1/2 year old birthday. I know most of you are surprised, because I didn't get the usual barrage of cards, gifts, and invites to take me out..... LOL, actually I usually remember because a friend of Sam's & I share the same birthday and he usually calls me, to wish me a happy 1/2 birthday. He didn't call this year though. And I missed it. But I know why he didn't call......... he became a Dad! The focus has shifted.

Now, I only have two children. I am responsible for a few more than that, for about 6 hours a day, but only two are mine.
Between their birthdays, physicals, dentist appointments, orthodontist appointments, eye doctor visits, recitals, concerts, open houses, plays, dance lessons, soccer games, play dates, birthday parties, field trips, and special events at school (like open house tonight), I am surprised that I remember that I am 34 1/2. My focus shifted about 11 years, 1 month, and 3 days ago, give or take......

We started our family earlier than most of my friends, and almost all of Sam's friends. I think we were just lucky enough to have met each other at an earlier age. They are all beginning their families. We have finished ours. Their priorities are just beginning to change.....

Sam & I were each lucky enough to have the opportunity to leave our parents' house and live on our own before we settled in together. I am so grateful for that experience. I think every person should be able to have some time in between being someones child and someones spouse, to just be themselves.

Being myself was a lot of fun. I was a lot of fun. Now it seems that I only catch a glimpse of that person once in a while. I miss her. She was always in a good mood, and always ready to go out, to a party, or to dinner, or to a bar. She always had enough sleep, it didn't matter if the apartment was messy, she dated, and she had a lot of "me" time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like being this me better. At this point in my life the most important things I could be doing, or would ever want to do is doctor's appointment, soccer games, dance recitals, band concerts, and school events. It is all I ever dreamed of doing. It is more fun than any party I've ever been too, and more fulfilling than any "me" time I could possible spend.

But, I think that now I am 34 1/2 , maybe I will try to interject my old self into my regular life. I'm not going to bar hop, or start dating (hmmmmmmm....... tee hee hee). But I would definitely like to start going on dates with Sam again. And maybe I won't let 6 months go by in between hair cuts, like the last time, and maybe I will make fun a priority . There must be a happy balance somewhere between the frazzled mom & the fun Kristine.

I think that my whole family would actually benefit. It won't be a split-focus.... my focus is forever changed for the better, but a little peripheral vision never hurt :)

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