Friday, October 31, 2008

Locks of Love

I am a super proud mom ! My girls patiently grew their hair until they had at least 10 inches to cut off, and donated it to locks of love :) Sam's hair grows back in quickly, and Libby had been growing it for all of her 6 years !
When I was putting Libby's hair in french braids yesterday morning, I was a bit welled up thinking that it may be a long time before I could do her hair again........
We were talking about it, and saying how even though it may take awhile to grow back in, at least she could grow it in, and that some children didn't have that option. That's when she asked if she would look funny without any hair. I didn't catch her meaning at first, and then realized that she thought she had to get it all taken off...... And she was willing to do it to help out another child.
Then I cried ......

Monday, October 27, 2008


Last Thursday I had cake for breakfast. There is a multitude of reasons why I shouldn't have cake for breakfast, or at anytime for that matter, and it got me thinking.....

Remember when you were little & everything seemed so tough? Of course now we know it wasn't. Being a grown-up is tough. I mean adolescence wasn't a walk in the park, but I'm talking about responsibilities.

There are so many responsibilities that come along with age. And if you are a parent, triple those responsibilites.

I have to take care of two (I would say three, but I fear Sammy might read this) little human beings. Granted they are both more self-sufficient than when they first arrived, but I am responsible.

For clean clothes, .. for even having clothes, for their meals, and lunch money, and homework done, and getting to dance class or soccer, or any school function on time. Does Samantha have her flute? Did Libby wear purple like she was supposed too? Did they brush their teeth, wash behind their ears? Change their underwear ? (okay that last one Sammy does on his own.... tee hee hee) Take a vitamin? Wearing a helmet? Wearing her deodorant ? Are they getting bullied? Are they bullying? Did they read all their minutes this week? Should they have more responsibilities at this age? or less?

Did I pay RG&E ? Did I budget for the nine million birthday parties we have this month? Should we get AAA before we go to NC ? Are the dishes in the machine clean or dirty? Is the litter box clean? Are we out of Parmesan cheese? Does anyone need a doctor's appointment? Is the van due for an oil change? Did I send out that birthday card, or that thank you card? Did I remember to get eggs?

See what I mean? I could go on & on & on & on, but I won't.

Being a grown-up is hard.

But I can have cake for breakfast.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

11 & 5/8

One of my guilty pleasures is watching "American Dad" on Fox. It's a cartoon, and it's for adults, and its brash, and often times outright rude. But it's funny. The season premiere started with the teenage boy announcing that he had hit puberty. This immediately caused flashbacks for his parents of when their daughter had gone through puberty. They then packed their bags & planned on running away until it was over. They were scared.

I can relate.

I know what it is. The problem with puberty. It's the crying.

Not the silent tears running down her cheeks, and a slight sniffle. Not the crocodile tears like when she couldn't get what she wanted. Not the scared cry, not the hurt cry.

It's a cry that I am pretty sure comes from her toes.

It's a cry that sounds like she has just lost her best friend, and cat, all at once.

In fact if you heard it, it would break your heart. It's quite pitiful. Because it's not mean spirited. It's not a temper tantrum. She is sad.

Today she cried for about 10 minutes. Inconsolably (not that I was trying to console her, I wasn't). But before you judge her, let me tell you, the cause was very serious in nature. You see, she wanted rigatoni for lunch. She got PBJ.

I know, it's tragic beyond words, and I fully understand why this act in & of itself truly made her believe that I do not love her. That although there are children starving, the fact that she had PBJ instead of rigatoni was the biggest betrayal that I could have ever inflicted on her.

The thing is, is that she used to be reasonable. She's a good girl, don't get me wrong. But at some point in September all sense of logic & reason went out the window.

Sometimes it's going to dance class, sometimes it's not being able to go on the computer, sometimes it's rigatoni. And her world shatters.

Now bear in mind, I'm not completely ignorant, our family had a very rough summer, a lot of very serious health situations with our loved ones. I know that took a toll. But she soildered through. She went to sleep away camp for the first time for a week. Loved it wants to go for two weeks next year. Middle school started. Lots of responsibility, and independence.

I get it.

And I have expected terrible outbursts, and tantrums, and rebellion.

I got crying. And despair.

But then it's over. Forgotten. But not regretted. She feels justified in being that sad.

It's rigatoni.

What does it symbolize to her I wonder?