moments....

I know that people generally tend to measure the passing of time in months, years, hours, days.... When they turn a certain age, or when their baby starts school, they stop & realize how fast time has flown by. That the children are growing up.

I certainly know how old my babies are .... Samantha is 166 months, and Libby 98 months. Weird? Maybe. But it sounds a lot less scary than almost 14, and 8.

When I think of how my girls have grown, I think of moments. Not milestones.

My moments have been small, but poignant.

My moments have been being asked if it's okay to "make" people knock before they come into her bedroom.

It's evolving from momma, to mommy, and then to mom.

It's turning around when she asks me a question, and realizing that we are now eye to eye.

It's the kiss me in the house so no one at the bus stop sees.

It is switching over to regular sized hangers in her closet, and packing away the "kid" sized ones.

It is when the happy meal switches over to a regular meal .

It's been reaching my hand down and waiting for that little hand to slip in automatically, and it doesn't. Instead she is looking up at me, telling me she is okay, she doesn't need me. She is okay without me.

There are so many of these moments. Each & every day.

I know that time must pass, children must grow. But I never realized it would make my heart ache so much.

Silly & Sunshine

I'm trying to live my life more like my 7 year old. Does that seem silly?

She is kind of silly. I don't remember the exact moment when being silly was no longer a part of my day. I'm always in too much of a hurry ............

When we were walking into religious ed about a month ago there were puddles everywhere & being a good mom, I reminded Libby to walk around them, to hurry up, and not to get her feet wet...... and she asked me "why not"?

I stopped & thought about it.....

She was wearing flip flops, so her feet would dry, and it would tack on all of 90 seconds to our arrival time. So I let her. She jumped as high as she could & landed smack in the middle of the puddle, and the next one & the next one. Silly. That made me feel like a good mom.

Then on the way in to the building, she wanted to walk right along the edge of the sidewalk stepping over curbs, going around obstacles, and taking a longer path . I asked her why? My way was shorter, quicker, easier.

She informed me that her path had the sunshine. Mine had the shadows. She told me that she always picks the sunshine. Even if it's longer or has curbs and garbage cans.

So I'm going to try to be more like my 7 year old.



I'll try to be more silly, and I'm certainly going to choose sunshine.

Diversity......

The children have off of school on Monday to celebrate the birth of Martin Luther King Jr. When Libby was in kindergarten she learned about this wonderful American Hero, and the great things he accomplished. It was also around this time that she decided that, she too, was African-American.

I don't know how she came to this realization, nor did I know what to do with it. My Dad is from England, and the family has been for generations. My Mom is Irish, and Ukrainian, but with both her parents born in the U.S.A. Sam's Dad is Italian, with I believe at least the last two generations born here. Sam's Mom was Canadian. So my children's genealogy is diverse, but not diverse enough I guess. So Libby decided to change it, or add to it. I didn't correct her.... She was so very proud of her new heritage, and her new hero.

We began having a heart to hearts about what principals MLK believed in, and how every person is equal, how boring life would be if we all looked exactly the same. She would bring the subject up daily.

One afternoon while coloring, Libby told me that she wished she could go back in time....

I'm thinking, to when ?

Last summer when we were in Disney?
October to have her birthday party again?
Last night so she could finish her desert?

She said that she wanted to go back in time and tell all the people that they just need to be nice. That everything would be okay if we could all just be nice. She was so so sad that people wouldn't treat other African-Americans nicely. She just knew that if she could go back in time, she could make them understand.

I felt so proud, and so sad for her at the same time. I wanted to tell her that things are different now, and to a large extent they are. But there is still prejudice in this world. Not only against people of a different color skin, but also people with different religions, economic statuses, and sexual orientations.

Gradually her obsession with MLK faded. And even sadder, someone (I don't know who) broke the news to her that she wasn't African-American.

Then came the Obama elections ! She was in her glory ! And I was happy thinking she had rekindled her interest in diversity! Then came that moment again, just like in kindergarten when she wanted to change the world.........

We were in the car, just after President Obama was sworn in, and she was telling me about how he was the first African-American president, told me that she really wished that she could be president. Of course I told her that one day she could.....

And I started smiling to myself just imagining the wonderful pearls of wisdom that were about to come out of my six year old's mouth..... was it going to be about equality ? about the poor ? about changing the world?

She told me that when she became president she would make it a law that everyone who had a pool would get a slide for it, and people who didn't have pools would get a pool, AND a slide.

Ahhhhhhhh, to be six.

There's time for her to worry about the moral compass of the world. For now I'm glad she's worried about swimming pools......

It takes a village...

I remember hearing this from Hillary Clinton, I don't know how long ago & not really getting it.

But I understand now. Although I think it should be different.... it takes a village to not only raise a child, but also to create the kind of person that we are. And I think it changes every day. I know that for me with each new person & new experience, I change a little bit.

I have taken a part of a childhood friend, who amazed me our senior year when she went out to breakfast by herself. It might not seem like a strange thing, but I just thought it was the bravest thing. And I have learned that a little alone time is not only okay, but it's healthy. Thank You Jennie.

I have taken a part of my neighbor who is so good to the environment & animals. And a few years back started using those recycling bins to try to do our part, instead of just using them to make snow forts. Thank You Sue.

I have taken a part of my mother-in-law who can always seem to find the good in people, and a rational way of thinking of things, when I tend to be hot-headed & over analyzing. Thank You Diane.

I have taken a part of my sister-in-law who speaks her mind, and trusts in herself. When I have always been too afraid that my opinion was insignificant. Thank You Shelley.

I have taken a part of my other sister-in-law who is the kindest person that I have ever known. Her thoughtfulness and compassion have made me strive to be a better person. Thank You Jerilynne.

I have taken a part of my husband, who has told me a hundred times, that everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like me, and that no one is better than anyone else. Thank You Sammy.

I have taken a part of my oldest friend, who is such an amazing mother. Not only is she not afraid to let everyone know how much she loves her children and how proud she is, her enthusiasm spills over to everyone around her, and it has made me a better mother. Thank You Kristi.

I have taken a part of one of my best friends from high school, who can laugh at herself, even when things happen that can be really frustrating. Not only can I laugh at myself, but I know that there is someone out there who often feels exactly how I do. Thank You Julie.

I have taken a part of my Aunt, who in the face of a battle for her life, was making jokes, to ease everyone's concern. And I've begun to look for the silver lining & the laughter . Thank You Aunt Susan.


I have taken a part of my Mother, who has continued to love unconditionally in the best and worst of circumstances, who still lets me vent at her (which is different then venting to her, venting at her isn't always nice). And I've tried to love without conditions. Thank You Mom.

I have taken a part of my beautiful daughter, who came home to tell me that a fellow student was being mocked at school for wearing braids in her hair, then the next day asked me to braid her hair the same way & proudly wore it to school that way. She sticks up for the underdog. Thank You Samantha.

I have taken a part of my other beautiful daughter, her sensitivity amazes me. As a 5 year old she told me how she wanted to go back in time, to the days of Martin Luther King Jr. so she could tell everyone that they just need to be nice to each other. If they could just do that, there wouldn't be so many things wrong with the world. And so I've tried to just be nice. Thank You Libby.

I have watched old friends lose husbands & children. And fight their way back from a depth of despair I never knew existed. Then turn around and do amazing things. I am humbled to have taken a part of that. It has made me love deeper & appreciate each and every day. I thank them.

There are a million other people that make up who I am..... and I thank them .

I love my village....

'til death do us part .....

I want to re-write my wedding vows. Then I want to have a do-over with the whole ceremony so that I know the important things that should be promised, are promised.

I don't know how much I would change about mine, but the parts that Sam has to say I would most certainly like to add some things...

For example ...

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I promise to pick up my wrappers & drink cans from the end table before I go to bed each & every night.

I swear to never complain about the way you cook, do laundry, make the bed, or clean. I will simply always appreciate the effort.


I promise to always go grocery shopping with you, I eat the food too, therefore would love to participate in the selecting of it.

I will never ask for a "prize" just to go to wal-mart or target with you. I will go just for the sheer pleasure of spending time together.

I swear that my clothes will always make it into the hamper.

I promise to stop hanging towels off the bedroom door, and to never ever just toss them into the tub, because someone could accidentally soak them when they turn the shower on.

I will not hog the covers.

I promise to always hold onto your purse when you ask me, and I will do so proudly because it will show everyone that I do not feel emasculated by helping my wife out.

and most importantly ...

I will always leave the room to fart because I realize that they just don't smell the same to you as they do to me.

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Then there is one part that I would simply edit, I'm sure you'll recognize it .....




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.... for richer or for poorer, in sickness, which by the way I promise to never act like a big giant crybaby complaining so much that you'll want to jam ice picks in your ears to just make it stop, and I will realize that if indeed I expect the world to stop because I don't feel well, then if you are ever sick, I will make sure that you have nothing to do other than feel better because I will take care of the house & children, and in health, 'til death do us part.....

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I'm sure he wouldn't want to change a thing on mine ...................

Holiday Road...... the finale

I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I thought it would be one of those things that were frusterating when the happened, and be funny later on..... It's not. Please understand while we were in NC, it was one of the most relaxing & wonderful vacations we've had..... It was getting there, and getting home....

Each time one of my girls says something like "if we walked to North Carolina instead of driving would we be there yet? " (Libby) or "Two months ago today we were driving to North Carolina" (Sam), my stomach flips, I break out in a cold sweat, and I bury my head in my hands trying to think nice thoughts, and to not remember......

Nope, it's not funny yet.

I will wrap it up though, it's been like a hang-nail waiting, and hurting a little, so I'll just go ahead & rip it off quick & hopefully without pain....

Our "detour" put us 100 miles out of the way. Up a mountain with a road so narrow I thought we were going to tip over the edge. I swear I was leaning in towards Sam as he drove (the edge was on my side of the van) with my book in front of my face so he couldn't see my eyes were closed..... Well he did.... didn't appreciate it much either..... Once we were safe again, the mountain road ended at V. With no signs & Sammy was almost yelling/chanting "which way, which way, which way you're the one with the map!!! which way, which way....." Well I offered up a prayer & guessed & a few miles down the road, we were right !!!! Hooray!

There was one "missed a turn" & having to back-track about 20 miles...... Then (I forget where) there was a college game going on , and the traffic was reminisent of rt. 81....

I almost can't talk about it anymore....

Let's just say we arrived & we arrived safe. My father-in-law was kind enough to have a bottle of wine waiting for me, so the first thing I did was pour myself a glass... We had been at the house for approximately three minutes....

I walked away for a minute...... 30 seconds..... and in his excitement of unwrapping the zwiegel hot dogs we brought down with us, my father-in-law knocked the whole glass, of RED wine, onto the WHITE carpet in the dining room..... in this same moment Sammy yelled from the bedroom that the dog had just jumped up onto our bed & peed all over it. I felt as if our craziness followed us right into the house..... I thought they might just ask us to leave..... but they didn't..... and the carpet eventaully came clean, and we kept the dog off the bed.... and we had a great time :)

Until we had to drive home.......


p.s. My in-laws are coming to visit in a few weeks. They are flying.....

Book III : Holiday Road

.... sorry it's taken so long, but for those of you anxiously awaiting the rest of the story, here we go .....



We traveled through West Virginia with NO PROBLEMS! Of course I think we were only in West Virginia for about 10 minutes, and even the Cerami Family can usually muddle through 10 minutes without too much drama.



So as we are headed into Virginia on route 81, we notice traffic slowing down, slowing down, and stopping. Yup, stopping right on the highway. Stopping like people were out of their vehicles walking around.



The first half hour was funny, we thought that there was no way that this was actually happening, and thank goodness we had made good time earlier on in the day, you know we still wanted to arrrive in Pinehurst while it was light.



It wasn't until sometime in the next hour that you could feel the tension rising in the van.



We were crawling along the highway at this point. The kind of crawling that is stay in park until the person in front of you moves 2 feet, then just put it in drive & roll forward a bit. It was at this point that Sam's back was hurting. Did I mention that he drove the whole way? If I didn't I don't know how I could have forgotten, he sure didn't let me forget... even though I offered, a lot. (and of course prayed he would say no, but he doesn't know that). But his back hurt, and he had driven the whole way. Oh and his back hurt & he had driven the whole way, but you know I felt bad for him because his back hurt and he had driven the whole way.



About 10 minutes into the next hour, everyone but me had to pee. I spoke with my dad who suggested they use an empty pop bottle, he must of forgotten that I have GIRLS, and when I suggested it to Sam, he was just insulted !



I will leave out the parts where Sammy would ask if he should try to switch lanes & if he did and someone from our old lane passed us, he would grumble & swear under his breathe. Seems he memorized every car in a mile long line around us, and could remember exactly where we "could have been" or "should have been" had he not listened to me.

ANyway, 2 1/2 hours and about a mile stretch of highway & we were finally moving :) We exicted at the next exit, ate, used the bathrooms, and as we were about to get back on rt. 81 we noticed that it was again at a stand still. Thank goodness I had the AAA map ! (stupid route Sammy had to take) so I found a way of getting to where we had to go & it was only about 1/2 inch on the map. Less than that, a 1/4 inch. I showed Sam & he agreed . Let me say that again..... HA AGREED. So off we go.

You know maps are a funny thing....

TO BE CONTINUED